So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize