I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
