I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
