god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
