I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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