Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
