You just made me feel so damn special
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
