then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
