why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I cut my penus on the lid.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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