plz talk dirty to me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
