There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize