he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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