you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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