why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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