I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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