oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
