so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
