I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
