I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
