I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize