I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
