He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am puke
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Text me some of your sweat
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
