I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize