one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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