PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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