I wish I could teleport
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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