it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So many bounce houses so little time
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
