smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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