I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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