i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
