so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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