are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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