my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
