a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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