your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize