Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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