Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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