in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
