heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
