Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Less talking, more tequila
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Still dying that you shit outside
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
