i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
