i don't plan on having that self control this summer
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you would pick up someone in the library
smell my finger.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
