She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
