and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
