There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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