Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
