Duck Duck Cougar?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
