dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
