Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize