the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
