For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
