I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize