The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
