dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
