i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize