Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I showed him my bush... on skype.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize