I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My penis needs a shock collar
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
