oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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