Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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