i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
